November 19, 2011

Beginnings & ends….life.

Posted in Uncategorized at 3:39 am by AngelEyesPhoto

I was thinking not long ago about “firsts”….there are so very many first times in one’s life it’s hard to remember even a fraction of them. The most common I remember seem to be love and loss. While this is intriguing on its own, I pushed myself to try to remember other first times. There are those that go without saying when you say first. First kiss, first love, first broken heart, first crush…again all love, rather matters of the heart related. What about the first time you heard your baby cry, or first diaper your changed. First time you decided you wanted a child. First time you saw something that really moved you deep to your core. The first time you were inspired. When we are children we experience so very many first times. First day of school, first time away from mom, first friend, first apple. The list goes on and on. As adults we still have a lot, but the experiences seem to be less for most of us. I know I for one have been in the same routine for what seems like ever. For some unknown reason, I seem to be breaking that mold for myself now. What about the first time you rediscovered yourself? The first time you were brave enough to go to eat alone. The first time you struck up a conversation with a random stranger, who ended up totally making your day. It truly is the little things in life that can make a difference if we let them. I am finding (through finding myself again) that I am most enjoying connecting with others. Oddly enough (given my profession) I was never really much of a people person. This has totally changed for me now though. I am thoroughly enjoying meeting new people, putting myself out there. Having those random conversations. A few weeks ago I was chatting with the parking attendant at Eglestons. I was leaving a nilmdts session, and it had been a particularly bad experience. I dont’ remember what the conversation was now, but it was the highlight of my day. It lasted no longer than 2 minutes, and was about nothing of importance. For whatever reason though, that man just made my day. I think we talked about the simple things in life…something to that effect, I’m sure. I think rediscovery is the most amazing gift. It seems to happen many times over in our lives. Think about it for a second. Who we are now vs. who we were 5 years ago, 10 years ago, in high school, middle school, elementary school, as a toddler. One might call it growing, but I think of it as an exploration of sorts. It’s an amazing journey if you let it be! Dont’ hold yourself back from the little things in life. Take a risk, put yourself out there, find something that makes you uncomfortable and conquer it. Find something or someone who inspires you! Make a new connection..maybe a stranger, maybe an old friend. Live life, be a part of the community! Love others the way you want to be loved. It’s a crazy world which is only what we make of it.

As we know there can’t be firsts without lasts or beginnings without endings. It’s true what they say, when one door closes another door opens. The doorbell to the new door doesn’t always ring though. We have to be ever vigilant to the doors. Endings are not always a bad thing either. Most think of break-ups or death when thinking of life and endings. Dont’ you sometimes end up with an amazing friend after a break-up? Isn’t death just the beginning of eternal life (if that is what you belive). So why do endings have such a negative connotation? Don’t you learn something from that break-up to take with you onto the next relationship? What about the end to a perfect day, or the perfect date? The end of a fantastic movie. All of these things the leave you wanting more in a good way.

I don’t really know where I’m going with any of this, it’s just kind of been on my mind lately.  I never know where my blog posts are going to go.  It just kind of comes out.  haha.  Sorry for that.  I truly hope that we can all learn to live life…for real.  Not just being here.  I want to be a part of this world, not just be in it.  I want people to know me, not for celebrity status or b/c I’m good or bad at what I do…just know me for who I am.  Hopefully, in a good way.  I want to give back, and for my children to be proud of who I am/was.  God only knows if that’ll prove to be true or not, but I guess it’s worth a shot…right?  haha.  Good times.  We have no idea what tomorrow will bring.  I know this entry is full of clichés, but you know what, those sayings have been around as long as they have for a reason.  So maybe we should start paying attention!

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